THROUGH LIFE'S CRUCIBLE, TRANSFORMATION WITHIN
By Anita Mellott


When Venkatalakshmiamma's story first ran in the December 1997/January 1998 issue of Habitat World, she was a 27-year-old widow struggling to raise three children on US$29 a month. She already had moved from a rented house-for which she paid US$8.53 monthly-to her Habitat house, for which she pays US$4 monthly. To be a young widow in India is to be shunned and relegated to a life of isolation with no hope of remarriage. But, says Venkatalakshmiamma, to have the opportunity to own a safe, secure Habitat is to have been given renewed mental, physical and emotional strength to bear such a life.


"She's changed a lot," comments X. Phillips, administrator of HFH Carmelaram in Bangalore, India, as we drive to visit Venkatalakshmiamma, a local Habitat homeowner. The minute we reach the house, the door flies open and she bounces out. "Bunni, bunni, aunty," she exclaims. (Come in, come in; "aunty" is an affectionate term used to refer respectfully to someone.)

As we enter the tiny one-bedroom Habitat house, I notice that not much has changed since my last visit here in the summer of 1997. If anything, now the house needs a coat of paint. But Venkatalakshmiamma has changed.

Phillips' warning hardly prepared me for the transformation in this woman whom I had met some two years ago. Gone was the frail, nervous widow I remembered. In her place stood a cheerful, healthy, confident person. Captivated by her energy and enthusiasm, I was curious to discover the reason behind her transformation.

In 1993, Venkatalakshmiamma qualified for a Habitat house. But little did she know that she was getting more than a house. Habitat for Humanity would become an instrument in God's hands to encourage her to find hope again.

At the house dedication, Father Aloysius, then president of HFH Carmelaram, encouraged her to look to God for help.

It was a timely encouragement for a young woman struggling to raise three children amid a mound of debt left when her husband died. As a widow, lives she no longer has status in Indian society. (In some cases, young widows such as Venkatalakshmiamma are shunned by family members who believe they possesses bad luck, and therefore may have caused the husband's death.)

In fact, so hard were those days that she could only afford to rent one room in which she and her youngest son lived for awhile. She was forced to send her older two children to live with her sister, who provided for their food, clothing and education. And she plunged into despair and depression.

"Mummy would always cry," remembers her daughter, Vimala, and her son, Harish, who were then only 6 and 4 years old. Anand, the youngest son, was just 11/2. "We didn't know what to do." Following the dedication of her new Habitat house, Venkatalakshmiamma and the children began reading the Bible that was given to them at the celebration.

"Through that, I now have courage to go on living," she says. Though widow remarriage is unacceptable in India, from her perspective, she doesn't face life alone anymore thanks to her newfound faith in God. "Though it's been so long since my husband died, I can't forget him," she says. "But I need to love God with that same depth of emotion as I loved my husband." Venkatalakshmiamma says that realization came one day when she was very ill, and she remembered the words spoken at her house dedication: "Only God can help you."

"It is hard to raise three children alone," she acknowledges, but she is neither distraught nor defeated. She is intent on providing a good education for her children. "They are very clever and study well. I want to encourage them," she explains. The desire is more meaningful, she says, since providing an education for the children was a wish of her late husband.

Fortunately, the children attend a government-run school, and tuition fees are paid by the government. But Venkatalakshmiamma has to provide them with books, school uniforms, and for the older two, tutoring in certain subjects. It is still a struggle financially for her.

Recently, Vimala was told not to return to school because she lacked a second uniform.

Venkatalakshmiamma managed to scrape together enough money to get her a uniform and so enable her to return to school. But Venkatalakshmiamma is firm in her desire to provide an education for her children. When I ask her about her hopes for the future, Venkatalakshmiamma acknowledges that she cannot think beyond the present. But she says that God will take care of things and provide. Harish, the oldest son says, "I have to get a job." For now, though, he is content to be with his mother, brother and sister in his Habitat house.

"We are very happy because we can be with Mummy. We can all stay with her in our own house, and I can study well," he says.

As I came away from my visit, I realized that Venkatalakshmiamma's life may not have changed much, but she certainly had.

Her conversation was interspersed with references to God and her faith. She had found hope again through a renewed faith in God, a faith that she is sure will carry her and her family through into the future. And though materially she has nothing to offer her children for the future, she presses on with what she can offer: her example.


Anita Mellot is international communication officer for Habitat for Humanity International.


Reprinted from Habitat World Magazine, December/January 2000.
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©1999 Habitat for Humanity International